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Homework answers / question archive / I need someone to help me edit and probably rephrase my SOP for university admission

I need someone to help me edit and probably rephrase my SOP for university admission


I need someone to help me edit and probably rephrase my SOP for university admission.


Having designed and manufactured numerous equipment and steel structures, I realized that an in-depth knowledge in this field of mechanical engineering is inevitable for me to keep soaring in the career ladder and ultimately achieve my dream of becoming a renowned Engineer in the world.

While I have always been optimistic that the future belongs to innovation, engineering and technology, the introduction and evolution of artificial intelligence, industrial automation and robotics have all proven everyone beyond reasonable doubts. On account of this, it is a no-brainer that I have decided to thread this career path partially due to its financial remuneration but mainly to become a major participant in the industrial world as the demand for engineering solutions continue to surge in recent decades.



I attended The Federal Polytechnic, Ado Ekiti, Nigeria from 2008 to 2010 where I studied Mechanical engineering. After a year industrial training (2010-2011), the quest for knowledge led me back to the same school for a Higher National Diploma program from 2011 to 2014.

On the whole, some of the courses I studied include: Mechanics of engineering, Design engineering, Advanced calculus, Strength of materials, Statistics in engineering, among so many other courses which have prepared me for the demanding career ahead.

In addition, while working with various companies along the years, I have also taken some professional design courses in drafting (AutoCAD 2D), modeling (AutoCAD 3D, Solidworks and Inventor) and Analysis (Solidworks Simulation and StaadPro).

These professional courses have pushed me to get a better job from time-to-time and to stay updated with the rigorous demand of my Mechanical engineering career.



It all began in July 2010, just three months before the end of my 2 years program (National Diploma). The Head of Department (Mechanical engineering faculty) stepped in to announce the few bright students that have been hired even before the end of their programs. Everyone was quiet. Nobody was expecting his name as we all knew how tough the interview exam was when we wrote them two weeks earlier.

Three names out of seven have been called when my name was finally mentioned. I was shocked. I was perplexed. I have just been hired by one of the best and biggest companies in Nigeria. I have just been hired by Procter & Gamble (P&G), Ibadan plant.

This gave me the confidence and belief that the career ahead would be in mechanical engineering. The manner at which I was hired was also worth noting: 1 of 15 people that were hired out of 240 students that sat for the company exam.

The experience and exposure I had in P&G pushed me to further my education after one year of internship.

Freshly graduated in 2014, I was hired by Gabros mechanical workshop where I worked until I finally left for the United Arab Emirates in 2015.

Immediately I arrived in the UAE in 2015, I was optimistic of finding a job in my field of study. But hardly had I known that Life has its own plan. Guided by a fundamental law by the great Physician, Isaac Newton, that for every action, there is equal and opposite reaction. While I was unable to get a job in the mechanical field I cherished most, I was ready to work harder and improve my design skills in order to get my dream job.

For the mean time, I took to other jobs immediately I arrived to the UAE and gradually started taking engineering short courses to improve, market and hone my skills in Engineering. The effort paid off immediately I finished my first professional course (AutoCAD 2D & 3D) in December 2015, by getting a job offer in the same month to join Pulsar BTL Production as a Mechanical Draftsman.

I worked here for a year while I took another more robust course (Solidworks) focusing on 3d modelling and FEA analysis in 2016. This certification opened a bigger door for me with a better job offer to work in my present company, Lucid Technology defense where I design and manufacture Tactical vehicle prototypes, Steel structures, Oil rig platforms, Pontoons among so many others.

Due to the challenges in this job, I also proceeded to take a Steel Analysis course (StaadPro) which has really helped me in structural analysis and have also prepared me to work comfortably in both the mechanical and structural fields.



My desire to enroll in a PGD in Applied Mechanical Design is due to my quest for more learning but more importantly is due to the limitations I have while applying for new jobs and the aspiration to move higher the career ladder which has been slowed down due to my current qualification (Higher National Diploma).

To start with, I have been limited to apply to fewer jobs in recent years because many of these companies prefer a candidate with an advanced degree. At this junction, I realized upgrading myself might be of a great benefit to my career; prepare me for a higher role in the engineering world and ultimately open more job opportunities for me in the long run.

In other words, I found out that for me to have more opportunities in the field of mechanical engineering, I need to have a master’s degree under my belt. For that, I need to acquire a degree from a reputed college or university that is globally acclaimed and meets the highest standards of teaching.




First, it is a known fact that Canadian institutions are equipped with high-tech amenities and advanced infrastructure. Canadian faculties have industry expertise and provide personalized care for shaping the students of the future.

In addition, the country’s welcoming nature as Canada is a melting pot where people of different ethnicities live together without fear of racial discrimination. Canada greets overseas students in a safe environment and offers the best quality of life and job opportunities.

Finally, The Applied Mechanical design course in University of Saskatchewan is a perfect mix of my passion, work experience, past academic qualification, and most especially the gaps I already felt at the work place that I needed to work on in order for me to move higher in the career ladder.



My entire expenses for college will be funded by me. This is the sole reason why it has taken me longer time to work and save money for this course.

In addition, I have properties and small businesses which I have bought with my salary in the past as I have always known that it is never a good idea to keep cash in the bank. Instead, invest and let the money works for you in order to make more money.

I have paid for the first semester school fees and it is easier for me to take money from my business until I finish my program in Canada.



Preventing unpredictable cases in equipment and machinery will give me joy; put a stop to structural collapse as seen in many cases recently in Nigeria makes would also excite me; and creating a new stream of jobs in my home country by starting a Research and Designing firm would definitely fulfill my childhood dream.


I pledge to follow all the rules and regulations of Canada and request you to provide me a student visa for Canadian study.

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