Homework answers / question archive / Essay 4 Student Essay Esample A Is Sex without Love Right or Wrong? 1 The poem “Sex without Love” by Sharon Olds is a difficult poem

Essay 4 Student Essay Esample A Is Sex without Love Right or Wrong? 1 The poem “Sex without Love” by Sharon Olds is a difficult poem

Sociology

Share With

Essay 4 Student Essay Esample A Is Sex without Love Right or Wrong? 1 The poem “Sex without Love” by Sharon Olds is a difficult poem. What makes it 2 difficult is an apparent ambiguity in its words, an ambiguity evident in the beginning question: 3 “How do they do it, the ones who make love / without love?” (1-2) The question implies that the 4 speaker, so far in her life anyway, has not had, or cannot bring herself to have, sex without love, 5 but the words may express two different attitudes concerning why she has not experienced it. 6 The first possible attitude she has is that she can’t perform sex without love, but she would like 7 to do it, which means that she is not against it. Thus the words could be read with a positive, 8 even admiring spin. The second possible attitude is that she asks the question in an angry or 9 disgusted tone showing she is against having sex without love, for it is an ugly and bad thing for 10 a man and woman to do. And she can’t understand how people do it. So because there are two 11 ways of reading this question, I went through the poem again and came to the conclusion that the 12 poem is not as ambiguous as if first appears. Indeed, Olds thinks of sex without love as a bad 13 and ugly act which she would not want to be involved in. 14 The statements that Olds puts into the poem show that she believes that sex without love 15 is not the right thing to do. In fact, the speaker describes the people who have sex without love 16 as having “faces / red as steak” (5-6), and as we all know, steak is not perfect when it’s red. 17 Instead, when it’s red, it means that it is still raw. And this is exactly why the speaker compares 18 their faces to red steak--she wants to explain that sex without love is also raw, and thus perhaps 19 ugly in some way. This negativity corresponds to that of the not-too-pleasant and all-too20 common association of the phrase “raw meat” with sex. Furthermore, she states that such lovers 21 are “wet as the / children at birth whose mothers are going to / give them away” (6-8). By saying 22 this, she of course discusses the biggest problem of having sex without love, which is that an 1 Essay 4 Student Essay Esample A 23 unwanted child can result, and then of course, the woman, probably must abandon the child and 24 give it away for adoption, which gives the whole idea of sex without love a negative association. 25 As a result of reading these lines, I am certain that Olds thinks that sex without love is a bad 26 behavior to engage in. 27 In addition of these statements, Olds puts in many religious references which further 28 express feelings against having sex without love. She brings up the religious element because it 29 is associated closely with marriage, which is the ultimate expression of a man and woman’s 30 sexual union. Note that most marriage ceremonies are performed in a church or other place of 31 worship and that people refer to marriage as a holy relationship between a man and a woman—a 32 holy union. Olds wants to tell us that marriage is the right way to go, which is the opposite of a 33 relationship based on sex without love. Her desire to tell us this truth is clearly seen when the 34 speaker links the act of lovemaking with God in line 11. Amid the repeated but broken phrase 35 “come to the” (9), which suggest the moment of intense climax associated with sex, the speaker 36 calls out the word “God” isolated by itself in the line. This expression is something any man or 37 woman might say at the moment of orgasm. So the speaker strongly and directly associates this 38 moment with God and thus with holiness. How, the speaker asks immediately afterwards, can 39 lovers come to the “still waters” (10) after orgasm and not love the person that they journeyed 40 with? It is inconceivable that they should not love that person, at least in the speaker’s 41 estimation. In addition, Olds puts in another religious point, which is that she compares the 42 person who has sex without love to a person who “love[s] the / priest instead of the God” (1443 15). This is the greatest example Olds can give. This is because a priest exists to help a person 44 get closer to God. And when a person loves the priest more than God, he overlooks the main 45 point why the priest exists, which is to get him to love God. Loving the priest instead of God is a 46 sacriledge. Sex without love is comparable to this situation because sex is made to increase the 2 Essay 4 Student Essay Esample A 47 love between two people, and if people have sex without love, they fail to notice the main point 48 why sex exists, which is love. 49 But what tops it all off is that Olds puts in the word “pros” (line 13) in the poem. The 50 word “pros” is often how major league players are referred to. And nobody will argue that major 51 league players are playing only because they are completely loyal to their game, for they make 52 lots of money doing their profession—they are said to play for money, not the love of the game. 53 And if they make such money, they think of themselves more than the game. This same analysis 54 applies to someone who has sex without love. Such a person does not care about the 55 relationship. Instead, he only cares about having a good time just like the “pros” who play for 56 the money. Furthermore, “pros” is a nickname for prostitutes as well. And no one would argue 57 that a prostitute cares for love. Instead, what she cares about is making money. So by 58 comparing sex without love to professional athletes and prostitutes, Olds brings her message out 59 clearly that people that have sex without love do not care for their partners. Instead, they only 60 care about themselves just like a prostitute only cares for money. And this misplaced emotion of 61 course goes against the nature of love and sex. 62 So after reading all these parts in the poem, I am mostly convinced that Old’s tone when 63 she asks that first question in the beginning lines is negative, which means that she can’t 64 understand how people can engage in sex without loving their partners and that at a basic level 65 she is disgusted by such behavior. But Olds’ attitude is not a hundred percent knowable because 66 other people might reasonably argue that the speaker asks the question in a positive way, and 67 when she wants to know how men and women do it, how they can have sex without love, it is 68 because she also wants to be able to do it as well. Critics can claim this from the way Olds says 69 that such couples are “beautiful as dancers,/gliding over each other like ice skaters/ over the ice” 70 (lines 2-4), which seems to me like a beautifully dreamy scene which everyone, including Olds, 3 Essay 4 Student Essay Esample A 71 would really want to be in. And don’t we all love a good steak and a glass of wine? And isn’t 72 the miracle of childbirth a wonderful thing? Moreover, don’t we admire professional athletes for 73 their wonderful abilities? And shouldn’t we love everyone, including the priests that teach us 74 how to love? 75 Such ambiguity of Olds’ meaning is perplexing to be sure. However the stark ending of 76 her poem suggests that in reality a loveless world based only on sexual performance is a 77 meaningless, soulless place. The people who have sex without love “know they are alone” (18), 78 the speaker says. They are “like great runners” (18). All the elements in their lives, including 79 their lovers, are just “factors” (21) like the “road surface, the cold, the wind.” (19). For these 80 people, the sad “truth” (22) is the “single body alone in the universe / against its own best time” 81 (23-24). Is this a world in which anyone would like to exist? I think not. Love, indeed, is the 82 necessary element. 4 Essay 4 Student Essay Esample A Is Sex without Love Right or Wrong? 1 The poem “Sex without Love” by Sharon Olds is a difficult poem. What makes it 2 difficult is an apparent ambiguity in its words, an ambiguity evident in the beginning question: 3 “How do they do it, the ones who make love / without love?” (1-2) The question implies that the 4 speaker, so far in her life anyway, has not had, or cannot bring herself to have, sex without love, 5 but the words may express two different attitudes concerning why she has not experienced it. 6 The first possible attitude she has is that she can’t perform sex without love, but she would like 7 to do it, which means that she is not against it. Thus the words could be read with a positive, 8 even admiring spin. The second possible attitude is that she asks the question in an angry or 9 disgusted tone showing she is against having sex without love, for it is an ugly and bad thing for 10 a man and woman to do. And she can’t understand how people do it. So because there are two 11 ways of reading this question, I went through the poem again and came to the conclusion that the 12 poem is not as ambiguous as if first appears. Indeed, Olds thinks of sex without love as a bad 13 and ugly act which she would not want to be involved in. 14 The statements that Olds puts into the poem show that she believes that sex without love 15 is not the right thing to do. In fact, the speaker describes the people who have sex without love 16 as having “faces / red as steak” (5-6), and as we all know, steak is not perfect when it’s red. 17 Instead, when it’s red, it means that it is still raw. And this is exactly why the speaker compares 18 their faces to red steak--she wants to explain that sex without love is also raw, and thus perhaps 19 ugly in some way. This negativity corresponds to that of the not-too-pleasant and all-too20 common association of the phrase “raw meat” with sex. Furthermore, she states that such lovers 21 are “wet as the / children at birth whose mothers are going to / give them away” (6-8). By saying 22 this, she of course discusses the biggest problem of having sex without love, which is that an 1 Essay 4 Student Essay Esample A 23 unwanted child can result, and then of course, the woman, probably must abandon the child and 24 give it away for adoption, which gives the whole idea of sex without love a negative association. 25 As a result of reading these lines, I am certain that Olds thinks that sex without love is a bad 26 behavior to engage in. 27 In addition of these statements, Olds puts in many religious references which further 28 express feelings against having sex without love. She brings up the religious element because it 29 is associated closely with marriage, which is the ultimate expression of a man and woman’s 30 sexual union. Note that most marriage ceremonies are performed in a church or other place of 31 worship and that people refer to marriage as a holy relationship between a man and a woman—a 32 holy union. Olds wants to tell us that marriage is the right way to go, which is the opposite of a 33 relationship based on sex without love. Her desire to tell us this truth is clearly seen when the 34 speaker links the act of lovemaking with God in line 11. Amid the repeated but broken phrase 35 “come to the” (9), which suggest the moment of intense climax associated with sex, the speaker 36 calls out the word “God” isolated by itself in the line. This expression is something any man or 37 woman might say at the moment of orgasm. So the speaker strongly and directly associates this 38 moment with God and thus with holiness. How, the speaker asks immediately afterwards, can 39 lovers come to the “still waters” (10) after orgasm and not love the person that they journeyed 40 with? It is inconceivable that they should not love that person, at least in the speaker’s 41 estimation. In addition, Olds puts in another religious point, which is that she compares the 42 person who has sex without love to a person who “love[s] the / priest instead of the God” (1443 15). This is the greatest example Olds can give. This is because a priest exists to help a person 44 get closer to God. And when a person loves the priest more than God, he overlooks the main 45 point why the priest exists, which is to get him to love God. Loving the priest instead of God is a 46 sacriledge. Sex without love is comparable to this situation because sex is made to increase the 2 Essay 4 Student Essay Esample A 47 love between two people, and if people have sex without love, they fail to notice the main point 48 why sex exists, which is love. 49 But what tops it all off is that Olds puts in the word “pros” (line 13) in the poem. The 50 word “pros” is often how major league players are referred to. And nobody will argue that major 51 league players are playing only because they are completely loyal to their game, for they make 52 lots of money doing their profession—they are said to play for money, not the love of the game. 53 And if they make such money, they think of themselves more than the game. This same analysis 54 applies to someone who has sex without love. Such a person does not care about the 55 relationship. Instead, he only cares about having a good time just like the “pros” who play for 56 the money. Furthermore, “pros” is a nickname for prostitutes as well. And no one would argue 57 that a prostitute cares for love. Instead, what she cares about is making money. So by 58 comparing sex without love to professional athletes and prostitutes, Olds brings her message out 59 clearly that people that have sex without love do not care for their partners. Instead, they only 60 care about themselves just like a prostitute only cares for money. And this misplaced emotion of 61 course goes against the nature of love and sex. 62 So after reading all these parts in the poem, I am mostly convinced that Old’s tone when 63 she asks that first question in the beginning lines is negative, which means that she can’t 64 understand how people can engage in sex without loving their partners and that at a basic level 65 she is disgusted by such behavior. But Olds’ attitude is not a hundred percent knowable because 66 other people might reasonably argue that the speaker asks the question in a positive way, and 67 when she wants to know how men and women do it, how they can have sex without love, it is 68 because she also wants to be able to do it as well. Critics can claim this from the way Olds says 69 that such couples are “beautiful as dancers,/gliding over each other like ice skaters/ over the ice” 70 (lines 2-4), which seems to me like a beautifully dreamy scene which everyone, including Olds, 3 Essay 4 Student Essay Esample A 71 would really want to be in. And don’t we all love a good steak and a glass of wine? And isn’t 72 the miracle of childbirth a wonderful thing? Moreover, don’t we admire professional athletes for 73 their wonderful abilities? And shouldn’t we love everyone, including the priests that teach us 74 how to love? 75 Such ambiguity of Olds’ meaning is perplexing to be sure. However the stark ending of 76 her poem suggests that in reality a loveless world based only on sexual performance is a 77 meaningless, soulless place. The people who have sex without love “know they are alone” (18), 78 the speaker says. They are “like great runners” (18). All the elements in their lives, including 79 their lovers, are just “factors” (21) like the “road surface, the cold, the wind.” (19). For these 80 people, the sad “truth” (22) is the “single body alone in the universe / against its own best time” 81 (23-24). Is this a world in which anyone would like to exist? I think not. Love, indeed, is the 82 necessary element.