Homework answers / question archive / Discussion using the rubric assessment   Based on the rubric assessment, what areas of the essay need to be improved? What insight can be gained from reading the essay? Could it be a better understanding of the essay's writing prompt by reading the sample essay, or a better understanding of how to organize the body paragraphs

Discussion using the rubric assessment   Based on the rubric assessment, what areas of the essay need to be improved? What insight can be gained from reading the essay? Could it be a better understanding of the essay's writing prompt by reading the sample essay, or a better understanding of how to organize the body paragraphs

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Discussion using the rubric assessment  

1. Based on the rubric assessment, what areas of the essay need to be improved?
2. What insight can be gained from reading the essay? Could it be a better understanding of the essay's writing prompt by reading the sample essay, or a better understanding of how to organize the body paragraphs. or a better understanding of how to generate a specific, debatable thesis for this essay.

 

Discussion Questions about the Rubric

1. Does the rubric give a clear understanding of how to grade the essay? Does the descriptions of the criteria specific and broad ranging? Why or why not?
2. When using the rubric to grade the sample essay, was there any difficulties with assessing the criteria? If so, what caused the difficulty? was the descriptions of the criteria too vague or general? Or the wording used unclear? What is the reason?
3. What can be added to the criteria to give a better understanding of the grade? How is the essay's effective (all the good things) and how it may be improved.

 

 

 

Rubric Assessment

Criteria	20	15-19	10-14	5-9	Total
Structure/Organization	The key ingredients, such as the introduction with a specific, debatable thesis, body paragraphs with topic sentences, textual evidence and explanations of the evidence, and conclusion work together to create a coherent whole piece of writing.	Parts of the essay work together creating a coherent whole. However, the essay may not contain all of the key ingredients or the key ingredients are not fully used or developed (such as the thesis).	Most of the parts work together but do not necessarily create a coherent whole; not all of the key ingredients are present, especially the thesis, or the body paragraphs do not support the thesis.	Some of the parts work together, but the key ingredients are not present; the thesis is underdeveloped, causing the essay to lack purpose.
Content Development	Uses appropriate, relevant, poignant, and compelling content to illustrate the mastery of the subject, conveying the writer's understanding of the material and giving new insight to the audience.	Uses appropriate, relevant and/or compelling content to explore ideas within the context of the subject, conveying the writer's understanding of the material.	Uses appropriate and/or relevant content to develop and explore simple ideas through most of the work but does not necessarily come to a new understanding of the subject matter.	Uses content that may not be appropriate and/or relevant and develops simple ideas in some parts of the work; does not come to a new understanding of the subject matter.
Context and Purpose for Writing (Includes considerations of audience, purpose, and the circumstances surrounding the work)	Demonstrates a thorough understanding of context, audience and purpose that not only responds to the assignment but approaches it in a new way, enlightening the readers with a new perspective.	Demonstrates adequate considerations of context, audience, and purpose and a clear focus on the assignment. May struggle with point of view and/or staying on topic.	Demonstrates awareness of context, audience and/or purpose and to the assignment; begins to show awareness of audience's perceptions and assumptions but struggles with point of view and staying on topic.	Demonstrates minimal attention to context, audience, and purpose and to the assignment topic. Struggles with point of view, meanders off-topic and doesn't address the assignment fully.
Genre and Disciplinary Conventions (Formal rules inherent in the expectations for writing in particular genres, such as the literary analysis, and for a particular discipline, such as the Humanities)	Demonstrates successful execution of a wide range of conventions particular to the literary analysis, and successfully employs the formal rules of an academic essay, adhering to the MLA rules.	Demonstrates consistent, successful use of important conventions particular to the literary analysis genre but may not necessarily adhere to all of the genre conventions. Consistent use of formal rules of an academic essay, mostly adhering to the MLA rules.	Follows expectations appropriate to the literary analysis genre but does not adhere to all of the genre conventions. Begins to follow formal rules of an academic essay pertaining to formatting and presentation with major errors in MLA formatting.	Does not necessarily adhere to the genre conventions; uses other tactics and techniques that are not part of the literary analysis genre, such as sharing anecdotes but does not adhere to the formal MLA rules.
	10	7-9	4-6	1-3
Control of Syntax, Grammar and Mechanics	Outstanding use of graceful language that skillfully communicates meaning to readers with clarity and fluency and is virtually error free.	Usually uses straightforward language that conveys meaning to readers; the work has few errors.	Uses language that generally conveys meaning to readers with clarity, though writing may include colloquialisms and other phrases common to spoken language and/or many errors.	Uses language that sometimes impedes meaning because of syntax, grammatical errors (fragments and run-on sentences) and errors in mechanics (punctuation, spelling, capitalization).
	5	4	3	1-2
The Writing Process (Revision)	Revision is a key element of the writing process; writer produces rough draft, posts to forum and class wiki and works with tutor to re-see the entire essay.	Revision demonstrated during the writing process; writer works with tutor and/or posts to forum and class wiki to produce a coherent whole.	Revision is a minimal part of the writing process, with writer posting to forum, class wiki or working with tutor.	Revision is not a key element of the writing process. Writer focuses solely on editing in the drafting stage or did not produce a rough draft at all.
Collaboration  (Peer Review)	As a reader, collaboration with peers resulted in detailed, critical feedback to guide peers in the revision process.	As a reader, collaboration resulted in critical feedback to aid peers in the revision process.	As a reader, collaboration resulted in general feedback to peers.	As a reader, collaboration resulted in general, confusing feedback to peers.

 

 

Sample essay

 

 

Childhood: The Trauma of Innocence

"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places" (Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms). These were words written by acclaimed American author Ernest Hemingway to emphasize how one must overcome their life's tribulations in order to mature as a person. Yet, there was no greater challenge to come than the one presented to Nick in Hemingway's "Indian Camp". "Indian Camp" is a short story that details how a boy named Nick Adams accompanies his father to observe him perform an emergency C-section within a Native American Reservation. Although the C-section is successful, it is revealed that the father of the child had committed suicide, as Nick beheld the dead man's bloodied corpse in all its macabre detail. With "Indian Camp," Hemingway embarked to explore how a child's experiences can forever alter their innocence. Thus, in order to properly express the loss of innocence in reaction to a traumatic experience, Hemingway chose to use the literary device of dialogue throughout "Indian Camp."

            Dialogue in literature is a device in which the writer has two or more characters engaged in a conversation with one another. The use of dialogue can fulfill a variety of purposes such as advancing the plot through revelations of the dialogue, creating tension between characters, or even developing characters based on what they say in reaction to events. While Hemingway used dialogue for all of these listed reasons, his use of dialogue to illustrate Nick's growth after his experiences in "Indian Camp" should be of particular importance to the reader. When we first meet Nick, his dialogue with his father essentially defines his character. When his father tells Nick that the Indian woman is having a child, Nick responds with a simple "I know", causing his father to rebuttal that "You don't know. Listen to me, what she is going through is called being in labor...All her muscles are trying to get the baby born. That is what is happening when she screams." Now what is Nick's response to this explanation? A simple "I see." From this short exchange, we can see that Nick is both reluctant and somewhat uneasy about being present for a birth. He is extremely disinterested and does not wish to be made aware of the in-depth details concerning such an event, which is a stark contrast to his father who seems to relish himself in the details of such an important biological event. When Nick witnesses the Indian man's dead body, however, he develops a sort of grim fascination with the 'why' behind such a gruesome act. This leads him to engage in the following conversation with his father:

            "'Do ladies always have such a hard time having babies?' Nick asked.

'No, that was very, very exceptional.'

'Why did he kill himself, Daddy?'

'I don't know, Nick. He couldn't stand things, I guess.'

'Do many men kill themselves, Daddy?'

'Not very many, Nick.'

'Do many women?'

'Hardly ever.'...

'Is dying hard, Daddy?'

'No, I think it's pretty easy, Nick. It all depends.' (Indian Camp 3)

This is a stark contrast to Nick's earlier apathy, as he barrages his father with questions not only of the suicide but of the birth as well. He is attempting to gain some sort of understanding about all the events that transpired, which indicates that the suicide caused some sort of mental growth within him. He is no longer the indifferent boy he was at the beginning of the story; his experiences have changed him for better or worse. Nick now concerns himself with life in an almost philosophical manner, a change his father seems reluctant to encourage based on his answers. In fact, it would seem that Nick's father too has been affected by the experience himself as he changes from long winded explanations to simple answers. Based on Nick's growth, we can safely conclude that a child's experiences can have a profound impact on them, yet this growth is not entirely good. For by experiencing such an event, Nick has lost something in the process. Just as Nick is no longer the indifferent boy he was at the beginning, he no longer possesses the innocence of childhood that could allow him to ignore the issues of life.

            To say that Nick has lost his childhood innocence as a result of his experiences is an entirely reasonable and fair claim to make based on the dialogue presented by Hemingway. In the beginning, Nick asks his father, "Can't you give her [pregnant Native American] something to make her stop screaming?" It is evident that this a question made out of childlike innocence, as Nick fails to comprehend the pain that accompanies a pregnancy. He does not even comprehend the fact the woman is in pain; instead he refers to it as "screaming" and is unable to grow accustomed to it. Yet at the end of the short story, his questions evolve into asking if "dying is hard." These are not typical questions a child should be asking an adult. In fact, it is because of the atypical nature of the question from both a societal and literary context that we can derive a deviation in Nick's personality. We see that he has transgressed into a boy grappling with a traumatic experience, unsure how to react or feel about it. For Nick has seen death first hand, and he can never be the same after it.

            Hemingway's use of dialogue in "Indian Camp," for the purpose of demonstrating how traumatic experiences can cause the loss of childhood innocence, is done to great success through the story. By illustrating first how experiences can alter a person and then how innocence can be a lost as a result of them, Hemingway creates a dynamic short story that focuses on a strongly compelling theme. Hemingway would go on to write several shorter stories about Nick Adams, connecting multiple anecdotes of his life to the character in the process. It is not farfetched to assume, then, that Nick acts as a medium for Hemingway to impart lessons learned from his storied life for all the world to learn as well.