Summary

Traditionally, Waite and Gallagher (2001) stated that people respected marriages as basic institutions. However, contemporary marriages are at war with unusual beliefs. According to Waite and Gallagher (2001), some people view marriage as a threat to the realization of an individual's full potential. For example, marriage limits men's freedom because they should always commit to family needs. Also, some women may perceive marriage as a trap or slavery because it forces them to live under the guidance of men. Currently, the main argument about marriage tries to answer whether marriage is a public or private affair. Based on the experience of most couples, marriage is more than a public ceremony. That is, couples should learn how to live together without public influence after marriage celebrations are over. Waite and Gallagher (2001) added that cohabitation invaded modern marriages because some people believe that it is acceptable to cohabit, especially when a couple does not have children. Despite the existing controversies, marriage remains to be beneficial because it guarantees a permanent and unconditional relationship. In marriage, people get partners who can always support them financially, physically, and emotionally in times of happiness and sorrow.

Response

The concept of marriage is not new to me because I was raised by parents who agreed to support each other to sustain the family. By the time I was joining grade 9, my father had lost his job. I overheard him telling mom that “the company is closing some branches, including where I work. So you need to prepare for that.” This statement meant that the household income was about to decrease. As a result, the family depended financially on my mother for three months till my father got another job. However, the family continued smoothly, and my neighbors could not tell whether my family was undergoing financial struggle. In grade 10, my knowledge about marriage changed when my friend, Lucas, approached me and said that “my father was arrested this morning after injuring my mother during a fight.” Lucas experienced a lot of distress, but I used to comfort him until his father was released. Unfortunately, things did not get better for Lucas because his parents separated after applying for a divorce. After remembering these incidences, I understand that people manage marriages differently. Some choose to enjoy the benefits of marriage (including financial support between marriage partners), and some people believe in post-marriage myths such as divorce (Waite & Gallagher, 2001).

Reflection

I read that modern couples should undergo multiple marriage stages: cohabitation, marriage, divorce, and remarriage (Waite & Gallagher, 2001). I want further information regarding the benefits of cohabiting before getting married and the relationship between cohabitation and divorce. I think cohabitation before marriage can allow partners to familiarize themselves and guarantee a long-lasting marriage before engaging the public. Also, I think cohabitation can reduce divorce because it introduces partners to a marriage-like environment. Hence, cohabiting partners understand their strengths and weaknesses before sharing marriage vows. However, I am surprised to learn that cohabitation does not guarantee happier marriage, and it puts families at risk of divorce after marriage (Rosenfeld & Roesler, 2019). Besides, I agree with Waithe and Gallager that marriage vows provide marital insurance benefits (Waite & Gallagher, 2001). I think married people are better than unmarried ones because they enjoy the companionship of a close partner who is willing to provide support during needy times. Since humans are social beings, no one can live without seeking support from other people. Also, “Two are better than one” because we all require someone to help us when we get into trouble (King James Bible, 2021, Ecclesiastes. 4:9-12). I was excited to hear that marriage allows boys to develop into responsible men. Marriage presents new responsibilities that men should perform as husbands. Hence, it is an opportunity for men to develop identities in society.

Application

The information presented by Waite and Gallagher (2001) convinced me to modify my growth process. As a result, I should change my attitude towards marriages. Before reading this book, I believed that modern marriages are in trouble because of increased divorce and single-parent families cases in today’s society (Gurjar, 2016). Today, women cannot perform some marriage duties such as looking after children because they spend most of the time working. Similarly, some men marry for the sake of having children and upgrading their social status, forgetting that marriage requires them to show love and honor to their wives. As a result, young people avoid marriages because they fear that they might end in divorce. After reading the book by Waite and Gallagher (2001), I now believe that marriage has more benefits than flaws. It guarantees an unconditional relationship that lasts until death. Besides, people can learn to live together and defeat any marriage challenges. Hence, I should not fear marriage because it guarantees happy and peaceful life. After learning that marriage is beneficial, I plan to start a community awareness program for young people, which will restore people’s trust in marriages.

4-MAT Book Review

Thesis statement:  Despite the existing controversies, marriage remains to be beneficial because it guarantees a permanent and unconditional relationship. In marriage, people get partners who can always support them financially, physically, and emotionally in times of happiness and sorrow.

1. Summary

1. Traditionally, Waite and Gallagher (2001) stated that people respected marriages as basic institutions.

2. Response

1. The concept of marriage is not new to me because I was raised by parents who agreed to support each other to sustain the family.

3. Reflection

1. I read that modern couples should undergo multiple marriage stages: cohabitation, marriage, divorce, and remarriage (Waite & Gallagher, 2001).

4. Application

1. The information presented by Waite and Gallagher (2001) convinced me to modify my growth process.