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Chapter 4 provides us with a wonderful and seemingly easy skill- Perception Checking
Chapter 4 provides us with a wonderful and seemingly easy skill- Perception Checking. I'd like for you to try this out this week! I'm sure you communicate with people regularly- this can be used with co-workers, your significant other, even kids- they really respond to some of these communication skills. Remember- the key is to describe a behavior you have observed in very neutral, objective words- if you start throwing in judgement or opinionated words, or if you use a tone of voice that isn't fairly neutral, this loses its impact. You offer the two possible interpretations to show you are open minded about what you saw- you are acknowledging you have an interpretation, but are humble enough to know it might not be the correct one. And then you ask for clarification- because isn't that the point? To find out what is really going on?
So this week, I want you to try it. It will be awkward at first- don't worry! Remember, everything is awkward when we first try it. After you have tried it, tell us about the situation and how it went.
Expert Solution
Description of the Behavior noticed: "You haven't messaged or called me in the last couple of days."
First and Second Interpretations of Behavior: "It makes me wonder whether you're mad at me or you've been busy."
Request for Clarification: "What is up?"
For three days, I observed the behavior of my friend. We usually message and call each other every day. She hasn't been answering my phone calls and messages. At one point, I was about to go to her house and see if everything was okay. I was anxious whether she was upset because the day before the abrupt stop of communication, we had a small argument. But I also thought maybe she was busy with school and work. On the third day of my observation, I finally received a call from my friend. I asked her what was going on. She told me her phone line was cut off so she wasn't able to call or message. I was glad everything turned out well. This experiment taught me to understand other people more accurately instead of just assuming the worst.
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