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Homework answers / question archive / Between equals You have had several heated disagreements in meetings with Myra, a colleague and peer, over issues you both care a great deal about

Between equals You have had several heated disagreements in meetings with Myra, a colleague and peer, over issues you both care a great deal about

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Between equals You have had several heated disagreements in meetings with Myra, a colleague and peer, over issues you both care a great deal about. It's gotten to the point where you expect things to get positional and confrontational with her and, somehow, they are getting there faster these days. It is not uncommon for both of you to use words like "ridiculous", "out of line", and "fanciful" when describing each other's contributions to discussion and to go on at length to oppose and discredit each other's point of view. You find yourself mentally replaying the debate on your drive home and thinking up even better arguments to meet her points. Your professional relationship is not as relaxed as it once was. While you can hold your own in a discussion and generally enjoy debate, you're beginning to wonder if this dynamic between you and Myra is turning into a chronic stress for everyone involved, particularly the others at these meetings. You see that what may have been a useful airing of diverse perspectives has become rancorous and personal for you and you would like to talk to Myra as a start at turning this dynamic around. Q2a: How would you prepare for this conversation? Q2b: How would you handle it specifically and why?

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a.      How would you prepare for this conversation?

One would prepare for this conversation by identifying Myra's values, where after you will appreciate her diversity to feel that although they are of different viewpoints, they have similar goals to achieve in the company. Learning to listen the other party with an open mind so that you can acquire some of their positive opinions and recognize that you can learn from them thus creating healthy relationship. In this situation one should think before giving their opinion to identify whether it is justifiable to avoid poorly-conceived argument. Also, learning to keep cool even when the conversation gets hot by letting the other party finish presenting their arguments so that you can seek logic and then give your viewpoints.

 

b. How would you handle it specifically and why?

Notably, the relationship between Myra and I is a colleague or peer-peer relationship in a professional environment. The issue in this case would be handled by first depersonalizing the issues at hand, and focusing on bringing facts rather than applying emotions. It is important to understand that this is work but not personal issue and incase of conflict or disagreement, then should be handled professionally. Effective questioning techniques should be used in this case, where open-ended, permission, and sensing questions are used to clarify what each party thinks. Additionally, removing or reducing perceived threats is essential, where in the conversation one has to protect the other person's values, morals, and what they believe in, otherwise they will feel threatened thus getting to heated conversation once more.