Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is being aware of distinct aspects of the individual including feelings, behaviors, and traits. It is a mental state where one becomes the emphasis of attention. Self-awareness is a component of the self-concept. It is a concept that is central to whom a person is, not something that one can acutely focus on at every moment of every day (Carver, C. S. (2012). It is woven into the fabric of who one is and emerges at different points depending on the personality and the situation.

Self-awareness is the capability to focus on self and how one’s actions, emotions, or thoughts align or fail to align with one’s internal principles. Highly self-aware people can accurately assess themselves, manage their emotions, understand how to perceive others and how to align one's behavior with own values (Kobayashi, 2010). Self-awareness helps one to know how other people view them, creating authentic and stronger relationships with others. Both of them are very important since one can use others perception of self to improve self.

Self-awareness is divided into four quadrants that envision the self-based known and unknown to self and others. The four selves include the self-concept, the public self, the real self, and the ideal self (Baumeister & Tice, 1986). The self-concept is how one perceives themselves, which others may not know. The public self is who other people view one, which can be similar to the self-concept or different.

Ideal and real self describes personality realms. The real self is who one is regarding how one feels, thinks, looks, and acts. Others can see the real self, but they do not have a way of knowing how others view them, and therefore the real self is the self-image. The ideal self is how one wants to be. It is an idealized picture that develops over time based on what they have learned and skilled (Alexandrovskaya, 2017). It is shaped by what parents teach a person, what a person admire in others, what society endorses and what one thinks is in their best interest.

Two years ago, my friends had formed a merry go round group. The group aimed at making monthly contributions, and the amount is given to one person each time. I joined the group as the last person, but the merry go round had not been implemented yet. I was in the group when we made the first contribution. However, during the first meeting, I realized that my opinions on group decisions were being given much weight because I was not among the main initiators of the idea. This did not stop there; even in the subsequent meetings, they disregarded me and my opinion.

By the time we were meeting for the fourth time, I could not accommodate them any longer. Even though I had contributed to four members, I left the group, and there were no hopes of forever getting my money back. The reason why I left is that I believe that I have to participate in decision making actively and not be a follower. However, the rest of the group members thought that I was selfish and wanted things to go my way.

My self-awareness and other members' perception of the situation were different, affecting our interaction since I could no longer stay. Some people view others very different from how they view each other. I may not have attained perfect self-awareness, but I am aware of my feelings and actions, and that is why I could not stay in a place where I am belittled in any way. However, the outcome of the situation was not the best for me. In the future, I would not want to leave; instead, I would like to make others take me for who I am without having to lose.

The situation brings out the four selves concept of self-awareness. The real self is who one is today. At that point, I left the group where I lost my finances which represented the actual self then. The second self is social self-concept which includes what others see (Baumeister & Tice, 1986). In that situation, other group members viewed me as a person whose view should not be considered, maybe because I joined last or did not seem to participate in critical decisions. The third self is the private self–concept, which I would like to be (Baumeister & Tice, 1986). In the past, I would leave, including the merry go round when I feel others disregard me. However, I would not depart; instead, I would fight to establish my position and want others to view me. Lastly is the ideal self, which is who I would like to be. I want to be active and influential to people I meet and interact with.

In the future, I would want to understand myself and others better. This is my aim because I want to become happier and peacefully exist with others. I am not the real person I would wish to be, and through self-awareness, I will align my ideals and actions. In the past, I have allowed my emotions to lead me, but now I want to understand my feelings and suppress them even when I feel that others do not understand me or misperceive me. Self-awareness is not a destination but a journey where one combines self-awareness to improve oneself continually.