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Many other advantages might be enumerated

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Many other advantages might be enumerated. For instance, the addition of some thousand carcasses in our exportation of barreled beef: the propagation of swine's flesh, and improvement in the art of making good bacon, so much wanted among us by the great destruction of pigs, too frequent at our tables; which are no way comparable in taste or magnificence to a well grown, fat yearly child, which roasted whole will make a considerable figure at a Lord Mayor's feast, or any other public entertainment. But this, and many others, I omit, being studious of brevity.
"translate" this paragraph into language you and your friends currently use. Slang and other informal vocabulary is obviously permitted, but spelling and grammar still count. Have some fun with this - be creative!
After that write brief reflective paragraph about the process of changing the essay into contemporary language and how you accomplished the task. Use formal vocabulary for this part, but first person voice is expected.