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Self esteem ranks among the most important aspects of a child's development

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Self esteem ranks among the most important aspects of a child's development.

Children's evaluations of their own competencies affect their emotional experiences, outlook, and future success. In this forum we will consider how children develop a conception of themselves and how they come to evaluate this view.
For your first post:

-Without giving any identifying information (i.e., use a fake name, etc.), describe someone you know well and who you believe has very high self-esteem. Indicate how you can tell. How can you tell (s)he is not behaving this way to cover up low self-esteem?
-Likewise, without giving any identifying information, describe someone you know well and who you believe has low self-esteem. Again, how you can tell?
-Why do you think these two people are the way they are?

For your second post:

-Read all the descriptions posted by others. This means you have to wait until everyone has had a chance to contribute.
-After reading other students' posts, what do you conclude about how people with low self-esteem act and how they come to be that way?







These are other people's post!!


1. "Erin" is one of my best friends who I has been apart of my life for 10+ years. For as long as I have known her, she has exhibited what I would consider to be high self-esteem. She eludes confidence by believing in herself to accomplish her goals, is sure of herself and personal needs, and does not let the opinions of others bother her. To me, sometimes someone with low self-esteem will to overcompensate for their low self-esteem by boasting about goals and feeling a need to let everyone know they are successful. "Erin" is not that way. While she is open about her drive and determination, she does not feel the need to let strangers know, as she is not phased by other's opinions (good or bad). On the other hand, some with lower self-esteem will often doubt themselves and not want to share too much information, as they are insecure. "Erin" is also not that way. 
2. "Kay" is a family member I have known my whole life who I believe to have low self-esteem. She constantly worries, doubts her abilities to do even simple tasks (like calling to make a doctor's appointment or make out bills). When trying to compliment "Kay", she often rejects compliments and doesn't believe someone would say something nice about her. While she is not the kind of person to use fake confidence to cover up having low self-esteem, she is the kind of person to think negatively of herself and not prioritize her physical or mental health because she does not think she is important.
3. While I am not 100% positive why Erin & Kay are the way they are, I know a lot of it can be traced back to childhood experiences. "Kay" was abused as a child, which I believe could be why she doesn't think highly of herself. Although "Erin" did not have a "normal" childhood by any means, she was constantly surrounded by a great support system which I believe helped her gain confidence. 




1. Let me introduce my friend Michael. He is an intelligent person who is clearly well educated. He is trilingual. When he speaks, he articulates well, and he usually does so with pride. He is curious about many things, so he reads a lot. Even though I can't say he is a good looking person, even overweight, he doesn't seem to care about his looks. He often procrastinates in his work, but when he is motivated to achieve something, he is determined to make the job perfect. For these reasons, I believe he is someone who has a considerable amount of high self-esteem. I know he is not behaving this way to cover up low self-esteem because, although from time to time he has had difficulty meeting challenges in life, I never saw him give up. Rather, he looks deeper into the problem and asks for advice when necessary. Then, he always finds a way, and in the process of doing so, surprisingly, he never seems embarrassed or shy.    
2. I have another friend whose name is Esther. She is from a good family, well-educated, and also trilingual. She is good looking. She seems to be talented in many areas. She is diligent and prideful of her profession. She is a person who seems to have it all. However, as the textbook indicates, her self-esteem is "contingent on success." She is afraid to fail and when she does, she easily gives up. For these reasons, I think she has low self-esteem.
3.  From my perspective, there are two factors that make them the way they are. First, their disposition, which greatly affects the way they see things in life. Second, their family background. Michaels parents are quite indulgent whereas Esther's parents are pretty strict. 


1) "Gabby" is one of my closest friends, and has been for years. One thing I admire most about Gabby is her unmatched level of confidence. She is unapologetically herself, and does not try to impress anyone she is with. She knows that she is a great person with great intentions, and does not doubt herself for a second, which I also admire. Another way Gabby displays high self esteem is through her vulnerability. She acknowledges her imperfections, and uses them to try and become stronger. She does not try to be perfect and is accepting of herself wholeheartedly, which is something that I definitely try to emulate. 
2) "Skylar" is another one of my friends, but she displays evident low self-esteem. I have noticed this over time through her tendency to constantly gossip about others, even those who are supposed to be her good friends. She brings other people down, in order to build herself up, which to me, is pure insecurity. Additionally, Skylar likes to please people, and is afraid to speak up is someone does wrong by her, which allows people to walk all over her consistently. The combination of these actions lead me to believe she has low-self esteem. 
3) I think that "Gabby" is this way because of her supportive parents. They were not overly strict, they just continuously supported her in doing whatever she wanted. On the other hand, I feel "Skylar" has lower self esteem due to constant comparisons with her siblings, and the fact that her family constantly brought her down, which has definitely taken a toll on her. 




1. A friend of mine Miley is the perfect example of having a high self esteem. She was a great student in high school, She was apart of many clubs and was well known around the school. The best part about her is she loved helping others succeed. She wanted to see others do well just like her. She set goals and when she didn't accomplish all of them she worked harder and didn't stop. She had a great support team at home by her parents and siblings. They would always be there for her when she would succeed and when she didn't. She didn't think bad about herself because she had the motivation to better herself and the motivation to help others that needed her help. She didn't let a small let down discourage her from trying again. 
2. My friend Tom was a football player at my high school. He didn't do too good in school and mainly focused his time on football. Many people believed he faked his personality to fit in with the rest of the guys. Whenever they didn't do too good on a game. He would take it out on himself and would get angry with anyone that tried talking to him. He would then miss the following practices and just lock himself in his room. He felt unmotivated and mentioned it was a waste of time. This occurred every time he lost a game and then after days of people reaching out to him and talking to him he would feel a little better and try again. It was a big cycle of the same behaviors all over again. 
3.  I think "Miley" maintains her high self esteem since she always has support whether she does good or not. And she loves helping people and seeing them do well. That pushes her to work harder and gives her a good feeling inside. She doesn't get discouraged easily and pushes to what she wants. I think  "Tom" struggling with his self esteem since he feels like he has to do good for everyone to like him. His family doesn't really say much in those situations. And he feels unmotivated when he doesn't achieve what he wants. He also struggles with fitting in with his friends and fakes it to feel liked. 





-"Lola" is someone I believe has high self-esteem because she's always the leader in our groups and loves outshining everyone in pretty much anything; clothes, cooking, makeup, etc. She always speaks up and tends to take control over most things in a group setting. It is evident she loves herself based on the jewelry she wears and the places she goes to. But, her self-esteem isn't that high to the point where she becomes arrogant. She speaks up and tells others about her opinions but she never sets herself to be "better" than anyone around her. She's assertive but never pushy and not many people can appreciate that and may misunderstand her assertiveness as self-centered and egoistic. I can tell she's not faking it because people with low self-esteem need to seek validation from others and will become upset if they don't receive it. "Lola" on the other hand, knows her self-worth and never tries to seek validation from anyone. 
-"Marnie" is one of my acquaintances who, in my opinion, has very low self-esteem. It isn't outwardly visible until a person gets to know her. Many people, including myself, have mentioned that she can be overbearing and demanding. She tends to be very dependant on one person when she becomes friends with them. She would always try to "win" a person's approval until they would practically be "suffocated" by her and once the friendship ended, that "win" of validation had been taken from her and her self-esteem would fall to a new low and she would resent the person in question. 
-I think that childhood obviously plays a great role here. People with low-self esteem are typically raised in families who are disapproving and distant, possible with neglectful or uninvolved parenting. On the other hand, parents who are more involved and apply authoritative parenting to their children, allow their children to feel secure and know what is eventually expected of them without being overly critical.