Homework answers / question archive / Discussion #5A - Rough draft introduction

Discussion #5A - Rough draft introduction

Writing

Share With

Discussion #5A - Rough draft introduction . A ] Creating the Hook Create 4 different kinds of hooks about the subject of this introduction: 1. Write an interesting statistic/fact about this subject that most people do not know - quote your source 1-At the University of Washington, my research colleagues and I recently discovered how profoundly this bidding process affects relationships. We learned, for example, that husbands headed for divorce disregard their wives ‘bids for connection 82 percent of the time, while husbands in stable relationships disregard their wives’ bids just 19 percent of the time.(4) 2-Write a famous quote which may apply to this subject - put the quote in quotation marks (author of quote) The extent to which two people in a relationship can bring up and resolve issues is a critical marker of the soundness of a relationship. (Henry Cloud) 3-Write an important question that we might ask about the topic. The important question that I might ask about the topic is, how can there be a cure for all of the different problems you can have with all these people? 4. Write a bit of wisdom / old saying you know that is suggested by this subject. It can come from the USA or your country. The wisdom I have chosen it is not old, and it has related with the subject is “Don't give up at the first signs of friction: only through clear communication, flexibility and willingness to adapt can you find a relationship that will weather the storms of life.” (Tom Miles) Look at your 4 hooks and decide which one you like the best :) B ] Background information: 1. Write a sentence that explains your favorite hook and relate it to the book, using author name and book title. My Favorite parts of hook, that John M. Gattman written in his book the relationship cure, when he said “Connection is not magic, Like any another skill, it can be learned, practiced and mastered." (25) 2. Write a sentence that introduces who the author of the book is profession, life experiences that are important. John M. Gottman who is written “The relationship Cure", he is a well-known psychologist, and his study was based on how the relationships work, how conflict between people is organized, and family relationships. 3-Write 3 sentences telling what the book is about. Define terms like bid. -Through this book Dr. Gottman wants to strengthen the emotional connection of people. He introduces to his readers the important unit of emotional connection, something he calls the "emotional bid.", and he states through his research how the style of making and receiving successful bids by turning toward others is the base to a good relationship. Write 3 sentences explaining why the book is important and why someone should read it. -This book “The relationship cure " is considered to be stable guide to repairing and supporting any kind of relationship, whether it is relationship between partners, brothers, or between co- workers, or between family members. Also, it is very important because it emphasizes the need for connection and communication in relationships with others. In addition, everyone should read it because it offers new insight into how to fix and conflicts reinforcement the emotional connection that is often reducing in everyday interactions. C ] Make a thesis statement to include the following Topic = Understanding bids for connection How we feel = we can improve / enhance our relationships How we write= recognize mistakes making bids, mistakes receiving bids, and avoid bid busters There are three main points that are clarifies the concept of bids through our responses to them, when we makes mistakes in bids, mistakes when receiving bids, and how of avoiding bid buster. D] NOW: Put all those sentences together in paragraph form and write your introduction: John M. Gattman who is written “The relationship Cure”, when he said “Connection is not magic, Like any another skill, it can be learned, practiced and mastered." (25) Dr. Gottman is a well-known psychologist, and his study was based on how the relationships work, how conflict between people is organized, and family relationships. Through this book Dr. Gottman wants to strengthen the emotional connection of people, and he introduces to his readers the important unit of emotional connection, something he calls the "emotional bid."; then, he states through his research how the style of making and receiving successful bids by turning toward others is the base to a good relationship. In addition, his is book is considered to be stable guide to repairing and supporting any kind of relationship, whether it is relationship between partners, brothers, or between coworkers, or between family members. Also, it is very important because it emphasizes the need for connection and communication in relationships with others. In addition, everyone should read it because it offers new insight into how to fix and conflicts reinforcement the emotional connection that is often reducing in everyday interactions. We can enhance our relationship by three main points that are clarifies the concept of bids through our responses to them, when we makes mistakes in bids, mistakes when receiving bids, and how of avoiding bid buster. In the book Relationship Cure, by John M. Gottman, show us, how to improve all our relationships whether in a marriage, at work, with friends, or with Member of family by revealing how others communicate their needs and how to efficiently express your own interests too. What if I told you there was a relationship cure? You probably think this sounds too good to be true. After all, there are so many varying factors that make no two relationships the same. You can have relationships with a significant other, friends, family, coworkers, and the list could go on. So how can there be a one-size-fits-all cure for all of the different problems you can have with all these people? We need to share emotional information that can help us feel connected. Sharing such information through words and behavior is essential for improving any significant relationship. This includes bonds with our kids, our siblings, our friends, our coworkers. how can there be a cure for all of the different problems you can have with all these people? As Peter Drucker says, “The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.” We all know how communication is important in our lives. We do also know not all that is said is important; sometimes, what is not said is what we need to pay attention to. John M. Gottman is a psychologist, author, researcher, cofounder, and codirector of Gottman Institute. Gottman wrote the book The Relationship cure. He also spent many years of his life studying and trying to understand and improve relationships among people. Gottman’s book is about how to make a better connection with others. He gives advice on what and what not to say when making a connection. What Gottman came out of within this book is the term bid, which means someone is seeking an emotion or attention from someone else. Upon reading this book, it has helped me develop better communication with others. In the book, there are exercises that help you develop a better idea about yourself. Also, it gives very beneficial tips on how to become a better communicator and listener. Communicating with others, whether verbally or nonverbally, is important; and we all know we were not born with excellent communication skills. That is why it is fine to make mistakes to improve our skills. In order to get better, we need to know the mistakes we are making and receiving when bidding and how to avoid bid busters. - Rough Draft Body Paragraph 1 When we Makes Mistakes in Bids There are three mistakes we make when making a bid to others are 1- Choosing to turn toward Bids for Connection. 2- Choosing to turn Away From Bids for Connection.3Choosing to turn against Bids for Connection. First, choosing to turn toward Bids for Connection and the responses to bids may be nearly passive, low energy. For example, when I do not communicate with the others well sometimes, and I do not spend quality time with love ones. As Dr. John Gottman mentioned in his book he says” I love my wife,” on client says of his faltering marriage,” but our relationship feels empty somehow” (Page5). Dr. Gottman shows when couples break up, it’s usually not because of issues like big fights or infidelity, but as a result of the resentment and distance between the spouses that builds up over time when partners continually turn away from bids for connection. He senses that the passion is waning, that the romance is drifting away. Secondly, choosing to turn Away From Bids for Connection so turned away responses may be preoccupied, disregarding. For example, sometimes, when i being busy with job and school and ignore some family need, or when the partners constantly turns away or against our bids, and meet with rejection. This will lead begin feel frustrated. According the Dr. Gottman says that “He does not mean to ignore or dismiss his spouse’s bids for emotional connection” (page5). Dr. Gottman explains that the reason for turning away from a bid is mindlessness. When intentional, the turner may be seeking more autonomy. Also, he means failing to pay attention to another's bid by being preoccupied, ignoring completely or focusing on irrelevant aspects of the bid. Routinely turning away can eventually destroy relationships. The third most harmful category is the, choosing to turn against Bids for connection, and turning against a bid may be contemptuous, belligerent, and defensive. For example when I’m upset I raise my voice and lose temper. As Dr. Gottman mentioned in his book “a wife gently asked her husband to put down his newspaper and talk to her. “ And what are we going to talk about?” he sneered.” Well we were thinking of buying a new television.” She offered. “We could talk about that.” (p. 17). Dr. Gottman wanted to show us this pattern of unfriendliness followed by overthrow of feelings is negative to relationship between spouses, and may be leads to divorce later on. Paragraph #2 Mistakes When Receiving Bids Moreover, there are many mistakes that individuals make when receiving bids. The first mistake when receiving bids is that individuals use harmful criticism that develops tension within the relationship. Gottman tells us to “being mindful, on other hand, leads to the formation of stable, satisfying relationship. When you’re mindful, you notice other person’s bid and respond to them.” (66) Harmful words depict to initiate tension, and this makes others fail to desire you. Relationships require tactful approaches that do not indicate the attribute of over criticizing. The second mistake that people make when receiving bids is poor communication that creates distance between partners or loved ones. Gottman states that is "Criticism, however, does just the opposite. It hurts people’s feelings leading to increased tension, resentment, and defensiveness in relationships."(73) Gottman wanted to show us, People don’t communicate well when they feel defensive, and they are not open to others, all these elements get in the way of emotional connection. When things go wrong reconsider the relationship with that person and try to fix miscommunication. This way, individuals get attracted and will always want to contribute as they expect more from such a relationship and talk, which draws them closer. The third mistake that develops when receiving bids involves ignoring or failing to pay attention to another person’s bid, factor that contribute to diminished connection . Therefore, both parties must be committed to establishing a close relationship, can both side to take steps more aware to meet of each other’s needs so you can turn toward one another. As Gottman indicates that such bid reception can get solved when one “You can become a collector of emotional moments by consciously look for the opportunities to connect with others.”(68) The author wanted to explain through this quote the connecting with your loved one’s associates with creating an environment that helps you solve specific problems in an enhanced positive dimension, any relationship requires the development of clarity and understanding to realize stability. ESL: 2AB Paragraph: draft 3 Personal Story of Avoiding Bid Buster I agree with Gottman’s idea that avoiding bid busters can be attained by enhancing intimacy, respect, and affection; these standards stand to increase the context of understanding within a relationship. An example of a situation where I avoided a bid buster involves an incident with my partner that constituted the dynamic of addressing a tense situation. For a week, we had encountered communication problems based on tight schedules. I had a project running late, and I had to give it my entire and critical focus to ensure that I completed it appropriately. It took my full concentration without realizing that I was not giving my partner the time needed and was not living in the moment. I shrugged most of the conversation and barely ate my meals during that period of completing the project. I was not aware of this irritating nature that I was developing, for my mind was elsewhere. After two weeks, it hit me that something was amiss, and the need to take action was necessary. By this time, I had been distant and carried office work to the house. I thought about turning towards the bid to enhance our communication. At first, it was challenging since I was still clouded with the project due in a week. I remember we talked at length concerning my current attitude and focus on work that I even forgot that I had other people around me. To avoid further tension development, I considered Gottman’s attribute of initiating a softer conversation and always listened to my partner whenever we engaged in a conversation. Staying in the moment and providing explanations that addressed the problem instead of avoiding it helped establish a positive relationship. After submitting the project, I realized how occupied I had been that this almost affected my relationships with my loved ones. Discussion #5B - Rough Draft of Conclusion Part one: Create the following sentences required below and then put them together into your conclusion paragraph. Part two: Once you have posted your answers, you will see your group mates. Reply with a minimum of 5 sentences to one person to help him / her improve their writing, ask a question and/or say what they did really well. A] Write a college level transition and connect it to a restatement of your thesis in different words: B] Summary Use a transition + Summarize the main ideas in first body paragraph in 2 sentences: Use a transition + Summarize the main ideas in second body paragraph in 2 sentences: Use a transition + Summarize the main ideas in third body paragraph in 2 sentences: C] Create additional ending strategies [ 3 sentences] Choose 2-3 of the following and then pick the ones you like best for your paragraph 1] Write a suggestion/advice you might make for the readers: 2] Come full circle & talk about your hook or title again and relate it to ideas in the book: 3] Make a prediction about what will happen if the reader follows growth or fixed mindset in his/her life. 4] Use a new quote, question, or anecdote relating to ideas in the book: D] Put all of your sentences together in paragraph form to write your 10-12 sentence conclusions below. Remember the very last sentence to be a sentence in your own words - no quotes or questions.