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Homework answers / question archive / The problem relating to the Georgia-Abkhazia conflict that I intend to explore is the humanitarian impact of the consequences

The problem relating to the Georgia-Abkhazia conflict that I intend to explore is the humanitarian impact of the consequences

Writing

The problem relating to the Georgia-Abkhazia conflict that I intend to explore is the humanitarian impact of the consequences. My paper will mainly address the humanitarian crisis in the aftermath of the conflict including displacements, human rights violations, violence, and hostility towards minority Georgians living in Abkhazia. The problems are interesting because in most cases conflicts usually precede a humanitarian crisis characterized by insecurity, economic challenges, violence, and displacements. Understanding the humanitarian situation in the aftermath of the conflict will help me to understand the current status of the conflicts, and the possibility of a long-lasting, peaceful solution.

Problem Description Section Policy Brief • Abstract • Introduction • Problem Description • Policy Options • Conclusion/ Recommendation • Works Cited What should the problem description section do? • Define the particular problem addressed in your brief • Don’t address the issue of statehood in your briefs What should the problem description section do? • Address why it’s important • Not everyone will agree that the issue that you choose is worthy of attention. • Contextualize the issue. • Explain why it’s important to address. What should the problem description section do? • Offer a framework for solutions • There should be ONE core problem addressed • The problem may cause other problems, but your section shouldn’t focus on those other problems (eg, poverty of refugees may cause extremism among refugees, but if poverty is your problem, then focus on that). What should the problem description section do? • Serve as an anchor for your Policy Options section • After reviewing your Problem Description section, it should be clear which ONE problem your solutions will aim to solve • Don’t put your solutions in this section! What should the problem description section do? • Pay particular attention to: • • • • • The actors Causes Constraints Values and interests of the parties Impact What background information do we need to understand the problem? • Describe the problem within its current context • Don’t use this section to describe the background of the conflict. How do you identify a suitable problem for your paper? • What are the core issues in the conflict cases? DON’T write about these… • Political control over the territory • Identity How do you identify a suitable problem for your paper? • Write about issues related to the core issues— • Eg, Discrimination against Georgian minorities living in Abkhazia • Eg, Palestinians’ access to water How do you identify a suitable problem for your paper? • Territorial issues • You can write about small territorial problems— • Eg, control over the seven districts surrounding Karabakh, Israeli settlers in the West Bank, border checkpoints in N Ireland Topics– Israel-Palestine Topics– N Ireland Topics– Karabakh Topics– Abkhazia-Georgia Concise and Precise Language Why is concise writing important? • Wordiness forces them to sort through unnecessary words and can prevent your reader from understanding your message: Why is concise writing important? • Wordiness forces them to sort through unnecessary words and can prevent your reader from understanding your message: • EG, For the purpose of explaining the background context behind the Abkhazia-Georgia conflict, it is important to investigate the intricacy and complexity behind the Soviet Union’s governance structure and system. Why is concise writing important? • Wordiness forces them to sort through unnecessary words and can prevent your reader from understanding your message: • EG, For the purpose of explaining the background context behind the Abkhazia-Georgia conflict, it is important to investigate the intricacy and complexity behind the Soviet Union’s governance structure and system. Why is concise writing important? • Wordiness forces them to sort through unnecessary words and can prevent your reader from understanding your message: • EG, For the purpose of explaining the background context behind the Abkhazia-Georgia conflict, it is important to investigate the intricacy and complexity behind the Soviet Union’s governance structure and system. • EG, The Abkhazia-Georgia conflict has its roots in the structure of the Soviet Union. How can I avoid being wordy? • While you are revising your papers, look for places where you can replace phrases with more efficient words. • Consider the following examples from the APA Manual of Style: Wordy Concise At the present time Now, Presently For the purpose of For, to There were several students who completed… Several students completed How can I avoid being wordy? • Look for ways that you can replace phrases with more powerful, descriptive words(Source: Purdue OWL): • EG, The politician talked about several of the merits of after-school programs in his speech. How can I avoid being wordy? • Look for ways that you can replace phrases with more powerful, descriptive words(Source: Purdue OWL): • EG, The politician talked about several of the merits of after-school programs in his speech. • EG, The politician touted after-school programs in his speech. How can I avoid being wordy? • Look for ways that you can replace phrases with more powerful, descriptive words(Source: Purdue OWL): • EG, The politician talked about several of the merits of after-school programs in his speech. • EG, The politician touted after-school programs in his speech. • EG, Suzie believed but could not confirm that Billy had feelings of affection for her. How can I avoid being wordy? • Look for ways that you can replace phrases with more powerful, descriptive words(Source: Purdue OWL): • EG, The politician talked about several of the merits of after-school programs in his speech. • EG, The politician touted after-school programs in his speech. • EG, Suzie believed but could not confirm that Billy had feelings of affection for her. • EG, Suzie assumed that Billy was attracted to her. Examples • In recent times, many foreign countries have attempted to put into effect ceasefires in order to deescalate the conflict. Examples • These borders did not sit well with Armenia because NagornoKarabakh is heavily populated with Armenian people. How can I avoid being wordy? • Avoid filler words– words that are echoed by other words in your sentence • EG, Palestinian concerns over human rights violations, and the indignities of occupation, have led to confrontations with the Israeli military. • EG, Palestinian concerns over the occupation and human rights violations have led to confrontations with the Israeli military. Example • These events created the beginning of what was named “the Troubles” as violent activity opened the gates to immense violence instead of calm political discussions. How can I avoid being wordy? • Look for ways to combine sentences: • EG, Lidwig’s castles are an astounding marriage of beauty and madness. By his death, he had commissioned three castles. How can I avoid being wordy? • Look for ways to combine sentences: • EG, Lidwig’s castles are an astounding marriage of beauty and madness. By his death, he had commissioned three castles. • EG, Ludwig’s three castles are an astounding marriage of beauty and madness. Examples • From 1917-1947, Britain mandated over the former Ottoman territory of Palestine. During this time period, Britain voiced its support for Jewish people to establish a kind of national home in Palestine. Examples • Since then, then both countries, both Abkhazia and Georgia have been in a stalemate. The reason for this is the prolonged stagnation of all sides coming to a former agreement. Exercise– Question 1 • The intended division of Mandate Palestine escalated existing tensions between the Jewish and Arab Palestinians in the region, and the events following the Partition Plan gave rise to several other issues. Exercise– Question 2 • Although a lot of physical barriers have been removed and deescalation has clearly taken place, the cultural stereotypes of Catholics and Protestants have not vanished entirely, which makes it difficult to come to an ultimate resolution. Exercise– Question 3 • High-stakes territorial disputes between Israel and Palestine developed due to dissatisfaction with the territories laid out by the UN, coupled with the desire to claim the same land into their territories, namely Jerusalem, as the city had both Muslim and Jewish significance Exercise– Question 4 • The inequality between the two states caused the conflict between Abkhazia and Georgia, as Abkhazia was given fewer rights as an autonomous republic during the Soviet Union. This was unfavorable for Abkhazia because with their lower status, they could not thrive as a nation and improve their economy. Exercise– Question 5 • Abkhazia wanted to rule amongst themselves without anyone trying to take control of their government agenda. What can I do to make sure my writing is precise? • Every word has connotation and denotation • Denotation refers the literal meaning of the word • Connotation refers to the negative or positive associations with the word • It’s important to be familiar with both the connotation and denotation before you use a word • Eg, “Clique” and “mob” both refer to a group of people, but the two words have very different connotations • Eg, “Protest” vs “Riot” • Eg, “Bizarre” vs “Unusual” vs “Extraordinary” How do I make sure my words have the right denotation? • The best way to be familiar with the denotation of a word is to look it up in a dictionary • You really (really, really) want to avoid using a word with the wrong denotation Example • The largest impediment that could potentially spark discourse amongst the political leaders in Northern Ireland would be Brexit. How do I make sure my words have the right connotation? • The best way to get familiar with the connotation of a word is to come across it in your reading • Don’t use a word unless you’re completely familiar with its connotation Examples • Although the conflict may be perceived as a dispute over territory, it is much more complicated than that, with seemingly every historical fact, small and large, litigated by the two sides and their defenders. • Better: Although the conflict may be perceived as a dispute over territory, it is much more complicated than that, with seemingly every historical fact, small and large, disputed by the two sides and their supporters. Examples • In August 1992, Georgian defense minister Tengiz Kitovani led an assault on Sukhumi, the capital of Abkhazia. This act solidified conflict between the Abkhaz and Georgians. In that month, war broke out and several thousands of soldiers and civilians were killed. • Better: In August 1992, Georgian defense minister Tengiz Kitovani led an assault on Sukhumi, the capital of Abkhazia. This act escalated conflict between the Abkhaz and Georgians. Exercise– Question 1 • There are a plethora of other key issues that would bring to a halt any form of resolution in the conflict. Exercise– Question 2 • The Abkhaz desired to promote their political status from autonomous republic to union republic, however, the Soviet Union collapsed in 1991. Exercise– Question 3 • [The Good Friday Agreement] resolved some of the grievances held by the Catholic side of Northern Ireland as they were now able to obtain a “share of the political power in Northern Ireland” (Imbornoni et al., 2017) while also providing the Republic of Ireland slight influence within Northern Ireland. Exercise– Question 4 • However, since leaders do not want to admit weakness or mistakes they have made, the conflict works towards being more and more intractable. Problem Description Issues regarding statehood are at the core of each of the conflict cases explored in this course. These issues are complex, involving many different parties with different demands. While questions about statehood seem impossible to resolve, smaller issues related to the conflicts may prove riper for resolution. In the problem description section of the policy brief, you will identify and describe a particular, narrow problem related to your conflict case that appears possible to resolve through the right policies. Please keep in mind that your chosen problem should be narrow and SHOULD NOT be about core statehood issues. For example, you should not write your paper about the problem of Palestinians lacking their own state or about Azerbaijan’s lack of control over Nagorno-Karabakh. However, you can discuss territorial problems related to the conflict. For example, students researching the Nagorno-Karabakh conflict may discuss the problem of regions surrounding Nagorno-Karabakh being outside of the Azerbaijani state’s control. Students researching the Israel-Palestine conflict can tackle the problem of sharing Jerusalem between Israelis and Palestinians. Students who write about core statehood issues will not receive a passing grade on the policy brief assignment. Please contact Prof. Finley or one of the course teaching assistants if you have questions about whether your chosen problem is suitable. As outlined in Young and Quinn (2002, 42), the problem description section should accomplish the following: - Define ONE specific problem addressed throughout the policy brief. Make sure the problem is specific. For example, “violence” is not a specific problem. “Violence perpetrated by disaffected youth who have joined paramilitary groups” is a specific problem. o The problem should be one that can be solved through policy. For example, do not choose “religious differences” as a problem because this cannot be solved through policy. - Convince the reader that the problem requires attention by describing the consequences of the problem o In describing the consequences of the problem, be careful not to describe the consequences as their own separate problem. The consequences should be clearly linked to the overarching problem you’re investigating. For example, you may choose to investigate the problem of lack of water in the IsraeliPalestinian conflict and identify poor health as a consequence of this problem. In that case, be sure to emphasize that poor health is a consequence of the problem, and not a separate problem. All of the negative consequences should be clearly linked back to the problem of focus. - Describe the problem within its current context (don’t use this section to describe the basic background of the conflict at-large, but be sure to explain the background of the problem) o This is where you’ll need to describe the cause of the problem. Again, be careful to make sure that you don’t describe the cause of the conflict. Extensive research is necessary for students to identify an appropriate problem and for them to describe it sufficiently. Your problem description should synthesize research across at least 3 different sources. This is a minimum; more sources will help you demonstrate a stronger understanding of the problem at-hand. Please use an appropriate title for this section of the paper. The title should very concisely identify the problem you are addressing. Please do not title your problem description section, “Problem Description.” Depending on the complexity of your problem, you may also include subsections with their own headings. Your problem description section should be 700-1000 words. Defining the Problem: Brexit and Northern Ireland Conflict Implications Although issues of national identity, rights, and segregation remain at the forefront for many Protestants and Catholics, the 1998 Good Friday Agreement has made great strides in decreasing violence and facilitating cross-border cooperation. As part of the peace process’ power-sharing, “a border once hardened by military checkpoints and watchtowers has become almost invisible” (Serhan, 2018, p. 2). However, the passing of Brexit, a 2016 UK Referendum to withdraw from the European Union, has created growing fear among Protestants and Catholics of replicating past violence, divisiveness, and surveillance. With Brexit’s key aims including ‘taking control of immigration’ and reducing immigrant access to living and/or working in the UK, the notion of an open border and free movement is now at risk (Hunt & Wheeler, 2018, p. 18). Brexit’s call for a hard border not only negatively impacts the Northern Ireland peace process, but also resurfaces old wounds for individuals affected by the conflict’s past violence. Current Context: Issues Surrounding Brexit The use of a ‘hard border’ is detrimental towards the Northern Ireland peace process because it can reintroduce the idea of divisiveness between the two parties and lead to an increase in violence. Colson states that a hard border would not only have economic and political implications, but a very real human side to it, as individuals would be reminded of the idea of surveillance (Colson, 2018, p. 3). By making individuals feel like they are being monitored, peace will be harder to achieve as each side views themselves as victims or targets. During ‘The Troubles,’ violence often sparked near the border, with checkpoints serving as targets for terrorism. Police Chief, George Hamilton, foresees increased violence from dissident paramilitary groups, with a hard border being representative of state authority and control (McDonald, 2018, p. 2). A border will be a visual reminder of the segregation between Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland, which can have long-lasting psychological effects to victims of the conflict, resurfacing old wounds and instilling a new sense of fear and hatred towards ‘the other.’ The implementation of a ‘hard border’ not only impacts the healing process of the conflict, but also bears economic and social consequences. Border control will impact crossborder workers, as well as travelers who have family and friends residing on either sides of the border. The free movement of people and goods is crucial towards encouraging the peace process because it facilitates the exchange of goods, ideas, and perspectives. This can help build positive relationships between the two sides and create a sense of mutuality. A hard border can jeopardize these efforts. Individuals who don’t want to be inconvenienced by daily border checks may simply resort to residing and/or working on ‘their side.’ This will only further deepen the segregation between the two parties. Due to the lack of a ‘hard border,’ free trade of goods has benefitted both Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland. Notably, the EU is the largest export market for Northern Ireland, resulting in £3.63bn in 2014, compared to £2.53bn of nonEU exports (Tonge, 2017, p. 9). The use of a border and placing tariffs on goods can adversely impact the trade relations that Northern Ireland has with the EU market. Consequently, this can affect the income and growth of Northern Ireland, ultimately impacting its citizens. Importance of Brexit and Its Impacts on Northern Ireland The many implications and unknown consequences of Brexit makes it a key issue in the Northern Ireland conflict. Brexit’s implementation of a hard border can cause the conflict to retract back to a hurting stalemate due to physical divisions between the two sides. Brexit serves as a reminder of the cyclical process and hurting that has resulted from interference by the English. During the peak of the conflict, British troops were deployed to stabilize the conflict, but this only further fueled the violence (Turak, 2017, p.3). Today, immigration policy for Northern Ireland is a power reserved for Westminster, making the Irish political body an outsider in its own affairs. Despite Northern Ireland working its way towards peacebuilding, Brexit’s enforcement of a hard border will once again cause conflict over the issues of sovereignty and rights. Similar to other global conflicts, peacebuilding efforts may be hindered due to third-party political actors. In this conflict, a political decision taken by England negatively impacts Northern Ireland, with Northern Ireland only gaining a political voice after the fact (Tonge, 2017, p. 10). This makes Northern Ireland vulnerable, with its conflict having a lot at stake. Policy options can create a sense of gridlock as Northern Ireland has to uphold its interests and relations within Ireland, with the UK, and with the EU. Ultimately, the psychological, economic, and political consequences that arise from implementing a Brexit based ‘hard border’ can impact victims of the Northern Ireland conflict, as well as future generations, as the idea of segregation resurfaces. Running head: GEORGIA-ABKHAZIA CONFLICT The Humanitarian Impact of the Georgia-Abkhazia Conflict Xianghan Qi Professor Dr. Katelyn Finley Social Science 183CW 5/10/2021 1 2 The Humanitarian Impact of the Georgia-Abkhazia Conflict Although the issues of security, culture, and national identity remain at the center of the Georgia-Abkhazia conflict, the two sides have made steady strides to end violence, hostility and improve the humanitarian conditions of those affected by the conflict. While negotiations and relations between the two sides are in a stalemate, the presence of the European Union Monitoring Mission (EUMM), has allowed citizens in both sides of the conflict to live a normal life. The European Union Monitoring Mission in Georgia, which has in operation since 2008 has helped reduce incidences of cross border violence, ensure stabilization, facilitated demilitarization of the border, encouraged trust-building between the two sides, and encourage a smooth movement of people and goods (Fischer, 2009, p.382). However, recent activities by both Abkhazia and Georgia pose a threat to cross-border trade, movement and are likely to contribute to the deterioration of the humanitarian situation between the two. In 2015, Abkhazia enacted the Law on the Status of Foreign Citizens and Law on the Procedures for Exit and Entry which limits services for people without Abkhazian citizenship (Jasutis, 2018, p.8). Similarly, Georgian Law on Occupied Territories continues to be an impediment to the peace process by derailing the resolution of the humanitarian crisis that has resulted from perennial conflicts between the two sides. Current Context: Free, secure, and open Border Negotiations between Georgia and Abkhazia mainly revolve around resolving the humanitarian crisis caused by the conflict. Both sides accept that having a free, open, and demilitarized border is the first step towards restoring close birder relations, trade, and improving living conditions for those affected by the conflict. In the document “‘A Step to a Better Future’, Georgia detailed plans to ease cross border restrictions, improve access to education for 3 Abkhazians and help citizens of the breakaway region to benefit from services and opportunities obtained through Georgia’s close integration with the European Union (Jasutis, 2018 p.9). Georgia reiterated this stance in a 2018 speech, where its foreign affairs ministry pledged to improve cross-border relationships with Abkhazia through engagement, trust-building, and by supporting Abkhazia’s trade with Georgian and external markets (Blakkisrud et al.,2018 p.12). Citizens from both sides viewed this as a positive step in improving humanitarian conditions, enhancing cross-border relationships, and helping people affected by the war to get back to a normal life. Despite pledges by both sides to improve cross-border relations, the idea of a secure, free and open border is yet to actualize. The hostility and distrust between the two sides remain the greatest impediment to the attainment of a free border or resolution of the humanitarian crisis surrounding the conflict. Both sides are unwilling to take broad steps towards supporting people affected by the conflict, demilitarizing the border, or facilitating cross-border trade and interactions. In 2015, Abkhazia enacted two laws, Law on the Status of Foreign Citizens and Law on the Procedures for Exit and Entry. The two laws required ethnic Georgians living in Gali to obtain Abkhazian citizenship as a condition for accessing any services (Blakkisrud et al., 2018 p.8). Despite its pledge to improve humanitarian conditions for ethnic Georgians, Abkhazia has refused to repeal or amend the laws. On the other hand, Georgia has failed to implement its pledge on the open and free border through fencing, border controls, and passportization, fencing, and borderlization. In 2018, Georgia issued the OtkhozoriaTatunashvili list which sanctioned individuals alleged to have committed atrocities against Georgian citizens (Blakkisrud et al., 2018 p.9). The steps by both parties have negatively impacted cross-border 4 relationships and hampered the resolution of the humanitarian crisis by increasing suspicion and mistrust between the two sides. Importance of free and open border and its impact on Georgians and Abkhazians. Having a free and open border is an essential step in improving cross-border relations and resolving the humanitarian crisis caused by the conflict. An open border is essential in building trust, facilitating cross-border trade, and allowing families affected by the conflict to visit their relatives on either side of the border or return to their homes (Buzaladze, 2020, p.8). An open border and free movement of goods are also viewed as solutions to the economic hardships and humanitarian challenges facing ethnic Georgians and Abkhazians displaced by war. Mistrust between the two sides and several incidences of border violence have forced the two sides to tighten security at the border. For instance, a 2016 murder of an Abkhaz border guard forced Abkhazia to tighten security at the border, and close two crossing points to Georgia (Blakkisrud et al., 2018, p.7). Such incidences not only highlight the delicate situation but also stress the need for trust and improved relationships between the two sides. An open border is only the first step in solving the humanitarian crisis that has plagued citizens of both sides in the aftermath of the conflict. Thus, additional steps are needed to end hostility, encourage cross-border dialogue and challenge both governments to take steps to take step to resolve the humanitarian crisis surrounding the conflict. 5 References Blakkisrud, H., Kemoklidze, N., Gelashvili, T., & Kolstø, P. (2020). Navigating de facto statehood: trade, trust, and agency in Abkhazia’s external economic relations. Eurasian Geography and Economics, 1-25. Buzaladze, G (2020). The Spectrum of Georgia’s Policy Options Towards Abkhazia and South Ossetia. E-International Relations. Retrieved from https://www.e-ir.info/pdf/82089. Fischer, S. (2009). 23. EUMM Georgia The European Union Monitoring Mission in Georgia (EUMM). European Security and Defence Policy, 379. Jasutis, G. (2018). Georgia-Abkhazia: the predominance of irreconcilable positions. Geneva Academy. War report. Retrieved from https://www.geneva-academy.ch/joomlatoolsfiles/docman-files/GeorgiaAbkhazia%20The%20Predominance%20of%20Irreconcilable%20Positions.pdf Problem Description Peer Review Tips In reviewing peers’ work, it is important to strike a balance between offering broad comments about the paper’s content and specific comments about the writing style. Sometimes, focusing too much attention to issues of grammar and word choice can divert attention away from the overall content of a paper. Similarly, too much attention on the overall content can sometimes prevent the reviewer from making important comments about the writing clarity. When approaching the peer review, balance your attention between the overall content and specific writing issues. It is often helpful to praise what works well in the draft before addressing what’s missing. So, try to begin your comments with a positive note. For example, you might say, “Your paper clearly describes the division in the parliament of Northern Ireland. However, you bring up a lot of background about the broader conflict (for example, the British colonization of Ireland) that isn’t directly relevant. It would be helpful to give more information about the different parties in the N Ireland parliament. What constituents do these parties represent? Why do people support certain parties?” It can be helpful to read the paper first for content. Try to understand the larger issues first. The problem description should very clearly accomplish the following: - Define a specific problem related to the conflict case. The writer should NOT identify the question of statehood as the problem. For example, the writer’s problem should not be the question of whether Palestine or Abkhazia should be an independent state. Similarly, the writer should not address whether Northern Ireland should be part of the United Kingdom or the Republic of Ireland or whether Nagorno Karabakh should be part of Azerbaijan or Armenia. - Describe the current context of the problem. It should be clear what caused the particular problem and how the problem is related to the greater conflict. For example, a student writing about the economic consequences of the Gaza blockade should clearly describe why there is a blockade on Gaza and how the Gaza blockade relates to the broader conflict between Israelis and Palestinians. o The writer should NOT use the problem description section to describe the history of the conflict. For example, a writer describing the Gaza blockade should not include details about the colonial roots of the Israel-Palestine conflict. The details about the broader conflict should directly relate to the problem at hand. - Convince the reader that the problem requires attention. The writer should clearly describe the consequences of the problem in order to convince the reader that the problem needs to be addressed. For example, a student writing about polarization in the N Ireland parliament should explain how the polarization affects the potential for violence to resume in N Ireland. - Build a framework from which the policy options can be argued. The policy option section will follow the problem description section. Each of the policy options will aim to resolve the same particular problem, but they will aim to solve the problem in different ways. By the end of the problem description section, it should be very clear which single problem the policy options will aim to resolve. After reading the draft, respond to the following questions: - What is the specific problem addressed? I am not quite sure, the beginning talks about security, culture & national identity then focuses on cross border trade and the humanitarian issues at the end. - What caused the particular problem and how does it relate to the broader conflict case? Not quite sure what caused the problem, I think it was the border/travel issues that are affecting humanitarian crisis even more - Is there background information that’s not directly relevant to the problem at hand? What other information do I need to understand the problem instead of the background details presented? I think the information about all the policys and efforts to the impeove the conflict from the beginning of the essay have to be taken out. I think that the last two paragraphs were really strong and I think you should discuss those laws in more detail and maybe describe why there is no trust or progress in this area - Why is the problem important? What are the consequences of the problem? Inabiity to fix border issues has caused families to be separated, citizens cannot travel, trade is limited - After I finish reading the problem description, I’ll read the policy options section. Do I know what problem each of the policy options will tackle? Issues of border, trade, humanitarian issues - On the whole, what are the greatest strengths of the paper? The sentence/paragraph structure was well written - Where should the writer focus his/her energies on revising the problem description? I believe there needs to be more clarity regarding the problem and its consequences If you don’t know the answer to any of these questions, then let the writer know what’s unclear. Be sure that your comments are specific. So, don’t just say, “I don’t know what particular problem is addressed.” Instead, say, “Your paper talks a lot about the violence in the conflict, but it would be helpful to focus your description more on a particular issue. What specific problem would you like to address regarding violence? You address perpetual violations to ceasefire agreements, the sale of weapons, the use of land mines and other weapons that allow indiscriminate killing, and lack of transparency in investigating human rights abuses. Which one would you like to focus on in the paper?” Once you offer broad comments about the paper’s content, then re-read the paper and offer some suggestions about the writing clarity. You can note the following: - Instances of poor word choice - Complicated sentence structure - Sentences that are too long - Paragraphs that are too long - Paragraphs that lack a coherent flow from one sentence to the next and a clear topic sentence - Grammar errors Comments about writing style are best made in the text (as opposed to at the end of the text). So, don’t leave a comment at the end indicating that there are many grammatical errors in the paper; instead, make a note in the text pointing to specific grammatical errors. In your note, explain “There’s an issue with subject-verb agreement here.” Alternatively, you can correct the grammar error. Because this is a writing class, it’s important for the writing to be very clear and concise. So, please be sure to devote enough time and attention to commenting on your peer’s writing style. Writing is difficult. Everyone can improve their writing. So, your review should have some comments about shortcomings in your peer’s writing. You should submit both your in-text comments about your peer’s writing style and your answers to the questions at the top of the second page to your peer through Canvas and to the Canvas Peer Review assignment folder. Thus, you should submit two documents to two places.

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