I need assistance in reviewing my Personal Statement for a scholarship appeal

I need assistance in reviewing my Personal Statement for a scholarship appeal. Attached you'll find the word document I have written up. Please feel free to add, delete, or change anything to make the Personal Statement the best that it can be. Below are the instructions given for the Personal Statement. You do not have to strictly follow it, just put it there to give an idea. Personal statement (required):

a. Detail the reasons for poor academic performance, specifically addressing extenuating circumstances beyond your control such as personal injury or illness which occurred during an enrollment period, death of an immediate family member or legal guardian, or other documented circumstances that were unexpected in nature.

b. An action plan, specifically addressing issues or circumstances which you indicate had a negative impact on your prior academic performance. Include what you plan to do in order to return to good standing. This is not to be simply a statement of "good intentions".