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Sometimes I just wish that things could be different, I wish I did not go through pain growing up

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Sometimes I just wish that things could be different, I wish I did not go through pain growing up. As a kid I was not well liked, but in the 6^th grade, everybody seemed to hate me. I was constantly made fun of the way I look or the way I talked. That was the year where I changed. From the smart, happy kid, to the negative, failing teen. I never understood how things changed, but that year I wish I stayed the same. I know I cannot go back, but I wonder sometimes what made it so bad, and after years of thinking, I think I found my answer.

I saw 6^th grade as an opportunity to outshine everyone, make more friends, and to be more popular than everybody. Instead I was mocked for the way I talked, with my "Minion from Despicable Me" voice. I was also not very good in school, I racked up impressive grades consisting of C's and D's. As you can tell, I was an upcoming prodigy. Maybe my first two plans were unsuccessful, but maybe I could have more friends, but as the days pass, my luck decreases. I tried making friends in this one group, but all the kids would call me childish and annoying, fortunately, my best friend was still here for me, for now.

Although the first few months stayed the same, I always wanted to improve on everything, unfortunately this was my downfall. I could not make many friends, which as a kid in 6^th grade hurt a lot. I felt lonely and I felt like I was not accepted. But that never stopped me from trying to find more friends, to be popular. I would do anything for that. I took that to the extreme at times. I would get in trouble so much to look cool that the teachers had to keep an eye on me. I thought that by getting in trouble I would be able to get "Cool points". Unfortunately, they do not exist, and even if they did, I would not be able to get a single point. If I realized this earlier, I would have saved myself from what is coming.

I knew that my pranks, jokes, and ideas were not going to keep me popular for long, and I knew I had to come up with new ideas. I had to amp it up. I had the perfect idea; I was going to get in trouble in every class so I would get the attention from everyone. This meant I had to start fights, disrupt class, and put up fights with the teachers as well. I thought that this would make me look cool in front of everyone and therefore more people would want to hang out with me.

At first this plan was great; I was not being bullied anymore and more people had hanged out with me during recess. I just wish this success were everlasting. Eventually life had it for me. It dished every punishment at once, which put so much pressure on me, I was hit with parent teacher conferences. I was hit with suspensions, and eventually... everything collapsed.

As I kept getting consequences, I turned my back on everything. This lowered my grades more and more, everyday was a new battle with my parents. I remember the car rides being long and quiet, but the atmosphere was heavy and chaotic. It was filled with tension, so much that if it could be compacted into a very small space, a black hole would form. I wished that black hole sucked me in.  Unfortunately, another black hole ended up sucking everything up. Because I started acting up and acting like a jerk to others. I lost one of my only friends. I tried making things up for everybody, but I was stuck in the bottom of despair and loss that gets lower and lower as the consequences keeps piling up on me. I felt empty. I felt defeated and I felt lonelier than ever. I was going to fail 6^th grade if I did not raise up my grades in a month. There was nothing I could do.But there was a chance, I could get all of that back if I worked harder, if I gained the trust and respect of my teachers and my friend. And there was a chance I could make my parents proud. I just needed this one month. I was ready.

Although that month was very short, a lot has happened. I ended up raising my grades, meaning I passed 6^th. Although I made my friend happy and I made my teachers proud, there was only one obstacle left, making my parents forgive me. I walk in the car with my report card in hand. They look at it for a while, and we go home better than ever."