Boise State UniversityBUS COM 201 Chapter 6, Delivering Good- and Neutral-News Messages, Student Handout ACTIVITY 6

Boise State UniversityBUS COM 201

Analyze the following letter. Pinpoint its strengths and weaknesses, and then revise paragraph for better readability.

Dear Marsha:

We hired you last year on the promise that your company would provide us with a quick response to technical problems. I am pleased to see that your company lived up to its promise.

I would like to thank you and your company for your assistance in getting our Internet site operational after lightning struck our building during a recent storm. We appreciate you and your team arriving so quickly and working “around the clock” to get our system operational. Our business relies heavily on having this site available to our customers to increase our sales.

Please communicate our appreciation to your team for their efforts.

ACTIVITY 6.6: PRODEDURAL MESSAGES

Analyze the following section of a procedures memo intended to communicate procedures for replacing a damaged badge. Pinpoint its strengths and weaknesses, and then revise to reflect a better written message.

Email from Christina Knox, sent 1/3/2008 at 1:45 p.m. TO: Line Supervisors

SUBJECT: Damaged Badge Readers

We have designed a form (PR-17) your employees must complete when they report faulty badges. After receiving this form from the employee, Sara Nazzaro in the Payroll Office will prepare a new badge and send it to you with the completed form. You should give the new badge to the employee with instructions not to use the new badge until the next day. Have employees report their departing time directly to you; record the time on Form PR-17 and return to Sara in the Payroll Office. Requests received after 10 a.m. cannot be processed in one day.