Consider the many ways in which people express themselves verbally

Consider the many ways in which people express themselves verbally. These characteristics can reflect an individual's preferred communication style:

Extroversion—talking to others as a way to explore possibilities for taking action

Introversion—thinking through possibilities alone before talking to others

Dialogue—engaging in a discussion to hear many points of view before coming to a conclusion or decision

Debate—arguing for a particular point of view from the outset of a discussion

Openness—being ready to express personal thoughts and feelings early in a relationship

Reserve—holding back on self-expression until a deeper friendship develops

A faster pace of conversation—allowing people to speak quickly and forcefully while filling any gaps in conversation

A slower pace of conversation—allowing people to speak slowly and quietly while taking time to formulate their thoughts

These are just a few examples of differences in communication styles. You might be able to think of others.

The point is that people with different communication styles can make negative assumptions about each other. For example, those who prefer fast-paced conversations might assume that people who talk slowly are indecisive. And people who prefer slower-paced conversations might assume that people who talk quickly are pushy and uninterested in anyone else's opinion.

Take this opportunity to think about your preferred communication styles and assumptions. Do they enhance or block your relationships with other people? Think back over the conversations you've had during the past week. Then complete the following sentences:

I discovered that I prefer conversations that allow me to...

I discovered that I usually feel uncomfortable in conversations when other people...

When people do the things listed in Item 2, I tend to make certain assumptions, such as...

As an alternative to making the assumptions listed in Item 3, I intend to...